If you have bad things happening during sex, it might be cause for concern. Medical experts have some useful advice on how to get out of a bad sex rut.
Everything from pre-mature ejaculation to a poor erection to a negative self-image to depression can influence the quality of your sex life, though some experts recommend that these have more to do with your mental well-being and less to do with sexual performance, such as a lack of interest or the inability to get turned on.
If you have more than a couple of sex partners in a week or in more than three consecutive weeks, you should see your doctor, a medical group says. If you’re engaging in sexual activity you’re uncomfortable with, if you’re having pain or physical discomfort during sex, or if you’re concerned about something that’s causing trouble for you or someone you’re with, take steps to get checked out by a doctor or a healthcare provider.
Just because casual sex has not only been legitimized in recent years, but veritably been made the social standard, doesn’t mean that it’s always super healthy. The ubiquity of porn, media examples, and above all, the swiping model of dating apps have all contributed to a society where hookup culture can be the default — “If having sex was once taboo, not having it is today,” says Washington Post columnist Christine Emba in her book Rethinking Sex: A Provocation. This pressure to hook up can lead to having — and even seeking out — sex when you don’t really, genuinely want it.
But that isn’t to say that casual sex is itself a problem — approached properly, if anything, it can be and is empowering, liberating, and most importantly, pleasurable. The key is knowing that you’re in it because you want to be (pun not intended), and you’re aware of and prepared against potential consequences, like catching something (be it feelings or STDs). So long as that’s true, you should go forth and get laid.
The dedicated hookup app is the horny person’s vessel for hot instant gratification. But the cool thing is that most dating apps can be used for sex purposes these days. Where you decide to go to find your casual fling really just depends on how much you’d like to know about the person in your bed. The butterflies of meeting someone new are still there — they just might be happening in a different region of the body.
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